This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

Tales From Suburbia: Ear Infection, Pediatrician, Amoxicillin

In order to survive in this crazy busy world, we need a code system for stories we've all experienced.

My first mistake was asking her how her day was.  She started with yesterday morning.

“Yesterday, Britney woke up a little strange; you know, how, as a mother, you just know when they’re not being themselves. She’s usually such a happy kid. She didn’t eat well, and you know Britney -- she can eat.   Just like her mother.  The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, you know?  [I know what you’re thinking: too much detail; now you know how I felt].   Later, I think she started to pull on her ear.  I had Steve take a look at her.  He thought she seemed fine.  But he doesn’t know her like I know her.  He wasn’t sure she was pulling on her ear.  Oh, like kids always play with their earlobes like that!!  Sheesh.”  [are you getting bored, yet?  I am; stay with it though; it will be worth it]. 

“So I called Dr. Michaels.  I just felt better, you know.  What if she’s sick or has an ear infection.  So I couldn’t find the number; and of course, our internet was down.  I had to look it up in the phone book, which Steve had been using to prop up his CPAP machine.   So finally I called.   But of course, it was 12:45, and the office closes for lunch from 12:30 to 1:30.  Great.  Who takes an hour for lunch and completely closes down the office. [we’re getting there; stay with me].   When I worked in the City, I took like 20 minutes, maybe a half hour for lunch, and I answered my phone during that time.  Absolutely.  My boss would absolutely freak if  we ‘closed shop’ for an hour.”   She took a breath. 

Find out what's happening in Manalapanwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

“So I left a message.  Did they call me back? No.  I swear that office has the nastiest desk.  Thank god I love Dr. Michaels.  Sometimes, I think that the quality of the doctor is inversely proportional to the quality of the support staff.  The crappier the staff, the better the doctor, and visa-versa; you know what I mean?”

I began to answer her question.  “Sure, but…”

Find out what's happening in Manalapanwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

She cut me off.  “So I call again at ten to one;  they have an appointment available with Alphonse, the nurse practitioner. He’s a nice guy, but he’s not a doctor, but let’s face it, this is not brain surgery.  Brit’s either got an ear infection or not.” So we go, and of course, because it’s a weekend, there’s a million sick kids in the waiting room, coughing all over Brittany.  I don’t let her touch those germ infested toys they have in the waiting room.”   She came up for air. [we’re almost there].  

“Then we’re in the room with Alphonse for a whole 6 minutes.  He looks in her ear, says he’s not sure, but he gives me a prescription for Amoxicillin. By the time I filled the prescription, the day was shot.”

I think there should be a law that makes it is illegal to give more than a paragraph worth of facts for any situation which we’ve all experienced countless times.  I would have described the same scenario if it was my kid, as follows:  “Ear Infection, Pediatrician, Amoxicillin.”  If someone said those 4 words to me, I would know the whole story.  Maybe not all the details, like the name of the doctor/nurse practitioner, or how many times you had to call in order to make the appointment, but I get the gist. I’ve lived it.  Many times.   Maybe we should develop a number system:

  1. Ear Infection, Pediatrician, Amoxicillin
  2. Traffic

a. Beach, Parkway Traffic

b. Family, City/Brooklyn or Long Island, BQE or Belt, Traffic

c. Broadway Show, Lincoln Tunnel, traffic

3. Returned item to mall, took forever

a. No more in my size

b. No receipt; store manager is an idiot/nasty/downstairs in Ladies’ Shoes

c. Cashier dropped out in 3rd grade

4. Anything to do with getting anyone on the phone

a. They never call me back [who does?]

b. None of the automated options fit my situation

c. I can’t get a representative, even when I repeatedly shout “Representative!”

5. Cellphones

a. I get crappy service                                                               

i.  On Tennent Road

ii.  in Jackson

                  iii.  every time I need to make an important call

b. I can’t sync my iphone to my Outlook Contacts

c.  My ‘Droid won’t play my music

d.  I can’t open my calendar

e.  Siri hates me

I tried this out recently with my friend McGillicudy.  I gave him the “Playbook” the night before so he could study it. 

How was your weekend ‘Cudy?

"It was crazy, nonstop.  On Saturday, I had a 2B, and while stuck in traffic, Justin started coughing, so I’m figuring I gotta turnaround for a 1.  So I tried to call the doctor, but I had a 5(a)(iii) and a 4(a) basically at the same time.  Five minutes later, Justin stopped coughing, but we’d already turned around, so we just headed for the beach.  We had a little 2(a), but not so bad.  The weather was great and we had a great time.  Sunday we went to the mall.  3(a), 3(b) and 3(c)."

That saved me about an hour.  

 

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?