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Health & Fitness

Tales From Suburbia: Summer Camp Sign Up Logistical Nightmare

Signing up for summer camp used to be simple. No more. Leave it up to the internet, cell phones and texting to complicate things.

The email notifying us of summer camp enrollment came on Monday. The logistics had to be mapped out for execution by Saturday. Registration will "go live" at precisely 10 am on the Town's website. Try too soon you won't be able to register. Get on-line at 10:45 am and your kid won't get into his group of choice, and might get locked out of summer camp altogether. The logistical planning began immediately. First, the information gathering. The 11 year olds will be divided into color four groups: slate, maroon, sand, and putty. Immediately, the word went out over the phone/email/texting web: slate is the girl group, and none of us with boys want them spending the bulk of the summer practicing cheers. My Jordan wants to be in a group with Tyler G, Thomas and Christopher. Tyler is most important, but the other two would be good too. Of course, each group has 50 kids, so what are the chances he'd actually like someone else in the group? No, the summer will be ruined unless at least one of the "Big 3" are in his group. By Tuesday afternoon, we had learned that Tyler wants to be in maroon because his cousin Michael told him he wants to be in maroon because his friend Paul and several of Paul's friends want to be in maroon. We later found out Michael really wants to be in maroon because he heard Britney and her friends are signing up for maroon, and Michael likes Britney [even though Britney told Tyler she likes Stephen]. So since my Jordan wants to be with Tyler, in essence, my Jordan wants to be in maroon so Michael can hit on Britney, even though he probably has no chance. Wednesday brought news that Tyler F. also wants to be in maroon. Tyler F. and Jordan were friends in pre-school, but by second grade, Jordan says Tyler F. was mean to him. Actually, from Jordan's description of the kinds of things Tyler F. did, it sounds like this Tyler wants to be his friend, doesn't know how to make it happen, and he generally acts like an 11 year old boy. Jordan made clear he does not want this Tyler in his group. On Thursday, Christopher's mother was collecting handwritten registration forms and was going to get on line [actual not virtual] Saturday morning and hand in Christopher's form and several of his friends' forms at the same time so they can be assured of getting into the same group. If you sign up over the internet, you never know if the others you want to be with got into the pre-planned group. Maybe we should give her Jordan's form so we can guarantee he gets into the same group as Christopher. But what if she gets there too late and all the spots are gone to people who signed up on-line [virtual, not actual]. And what if Christopher or one of his other friends doesn't want to be in maroon? Then he wouldn't be with Tyler G. We texted Christopher's mother but she did not get back to us until Friday. So we'd have to go to bed on Thursday midst all this uncertainty. Friday's conversation with Christopher's mother was both helpful and complicating in other ways. Yes, she would be happy to take Jordan's form and walk it in, yes, Christopher wants to be in maroon, and she's also taking in Thomas and Tyler's forms. Wow, we initially thought, this is working out. But Friday afternoon, we realized it wasn't clear which Tyler Christopher's mom was talking about. Jordan does not want to be in maroon with Tyler F, but likes Tyler G. We spoke to Jordan and explained he may have to put up with Tyler F if he wants to be in maroon with Christopher and Thomas; it may turn out that Tyler G will be in maroon, but it is not clear. The fact is, Tyler F may be in maroon no matter what we do. A crisis developed on Friday night when Christopher's mother got into a car accident. She was not hurt, but her car had to be towed to the nearby Midas shop, which, not coincidentally, is where Christopher, Thomas and Jordan's registration forms are. Numerous telephone calls, texts and emails later, by 9:30 Saturday morning, it was decided that Christopher's would go to the Rec Center to register in-person, while we and Thomas' mother would register on-line. Don't ask me how or why this was decided, it just was. Twice we tried to get onto the registration portal between 9:50 and 10 am, and were unable to start the registration process. Magically, we got onto the website before 10:01. Magically too, Sand was already full. At 10:01? Really? there must have been a special few who were allowed to sign up before 10 am. No problem. we're on the site, Jordan'll get into maroon. We started to enter all the information [name, address, credit card, etc.]. Just as we put in the expiration date, the computer froze. The few tricks I knew didn't work, so it was time for Alt/control/delete and restart the computer. Meanwhile, a text arrives from Thomas' mother; he got into maroon. Now the pressure's on. Jordan has to get into maroon. He just has to - or the whole summer will be ruined. Christopher's mom texted that she went to the Rec office. So many people showed up the parking lot was full and cars were parked on the shoulder of the highway. The line went into the parking lot and it was raining. Apparently parents were lining up before daylight. She texted that Sand was already full (we knew that), as was slate. There was a rumor that they were going to open up another 11 year old group (Fuscia? Burnt Sienna? Eggplant?). Maybe we should wait until they announce it; then we can be assured that Christopher and Jordan will be in the same group. But then we'd have to get Thomas into the new group. But there's a strict "no changing groups" policy. Christopher's mom said she heard that Johnny Armando was able to switch last year. So they say there's no switching, but maybe you can. Of course, Mrs. Armando said that he was in Onyx from the start. So who really knows? Sixteen texts, two phone calls and half an hour later, it was decided we'd forge ahead and shoot for maroon. Christopher's mom was almost at the front of the line by this point. It took several tries and the full half hour for us to get back onto the website. During that time, Jordan successfully killed 75 of his friends' men in a rousing game of Call of Duty. The next text from Christopher's mom confirmed he'd gotten into maroon, but there were only a few spots left. We were still in website purgatory. Finally, all our information was entered, and we could choose a group. Sure enough, yellow, slate and maroon were closed out, leaving only putty. Well, it looks like putty for Jordan. The next week was spent finding out which groups all his friends actually got into. Luckily a few kids he knew would be in putty, though the months leading up to the first day of camp were full of whining and hand-wringing about how the summer was going to be awful since he was not in maroon, and "everybody" was in maroon. But it all worked out because he met and became friends with three boys he never knew before, and got his first girlfriend: Britney.

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